And Do It All Although You Can't Believe It

Spring Breakers (Korine, 2013)

I've never really been on a spring break before. Technically I guess I have since my college had a week a year that was called Spring Break, but I never went on trips. Actually, I probably have more vivid memories of MTV's Spring Break coverage as a kid than I do of my college spring breaks which tended to be occupied by paper writing. So as I entered Harmony Korine's latest fever dream of a film, Spring Breakers, there was a part of me that wondered if I would be too far out of my element. Thankfully all those years of MTV watching paid off though, but filtered through the kinetic, frantic party montages Korine creates a sense of clarity, a sense of dread. And it's in this storm that the genius of Spring Breakers emerges.

Final Farewells: Thoughts About, Reflections On, and Saying Goodbye To Wizards Of Waverly Place

As some may know, about a year ago I wrote a post about the end of Hannah Montana and how that ushered in the beginning of the end of Disney's latest golden age. And now, only about an hour ago as I type this, Wizards of Waverly Place concluded its run as Disney's longest running original series. As a whole the episode really allowed every cast member time to shine as the writing was as sharp as ever. It all built to a fairly predictable, but still emotionally engaging, conclusion that results with everyone happy.

But I'm not here to discuss the episode, I'm here to pay my respects to what is likely the channel's most accomplished series and to look ahead.

Changing Of The Guard: The End Of Disney's Latest Golden Age

Another classic from the Processed Grass Wordpress Vault:

A few hours ago the Disney Channel Original Series juggernaut, Hannah Montana, aired its final episode. As a fairly big fan of Disney Channel I was compelled to watch this episode, sadly I missed the first half. Actually, I am not really a fan of Hannah Montana, but as a fan I cannot help but feel a sense of sorrow at the end of Miley's time with Disney. The starlet's departure ushers in the end of an era, a changing of the guard of sorts, and given Disney's recent scramble to find any sort of replacement has me worried about the quality of the programing as a whole.

Box Office Battle - July 15th

As I mentioned in last week's post, where I almost completely nailed the opening numbers for Horrible Bosses, by the way, I am going to be going to Chicago from July 14th through July 18th for this year's Pitchfork Music Festival, which means that Processed Grass is going to be contentless for the next few days. Also as a result of this trip, my weekly box office prognostication column is coming a couple of days earlier than it would normally be posted. And this week is a big one with two beloved franchises going head to head for all the affections of children and adults the nation over. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two attempts to conclude the long running franchise with a thrilling, emotionally satisfying conclusion, while Disney's Winnie the Pooh brings back a much older literary figure for a completely new adventure that targets the heartstrings of all the people who have ever been familiar with the honey loving stuffed animal. So is the marketplace going to be split, or does one have the sheer strength to out power the other?

Taking on 2011 - Top Albums (Q2 Quarterly Review)

My personal vendetta against 2011 continues along at a quick pace, following up the Top Tracks Q2 Review with a larger focus. We're going to be talking about albums, those complex monsters that haunt the innards of our iPods. Crackling on the speakers in the car during long rides, pulsating through ear buds while you're on the day's run, albums are meant to be digested. Even though the year is only half over, I am actually surprised at just how great a year it has been for music. Not to mention that my most anticipated albums are still to be released! Below we have the good, few marks of ugly from 2011. Before reading, check out how the list has changed as well, but catching up on the Q1 Quarterly Review of Top Albums. Here at Processed Grass I am all comprehensive, all the time!

Taking on 2011 - Top Tracks (Q2 Quarterly Review)

So, we have officially hit the halfway mark of the year. How are those New Year's Resolutions holding up? Mine had already been abandoned by the time I composed the first Quarterly Review, so now I have resolved to make no more resolutions. Even if that does not cure my shame and disappointment, I can at least take solace in the fact that this year has produced a number of great songs to inhabit this list. Just a forewarning, this list is going to be a good deal different from the Q1 Quarterly Review. More eclectic! More daring! More music!

Before we begin I should probably issue another short reminder: this is a Quarterly Review because I do them every three months, not because the list only contains songs released in these three months. They are all building to the final lists in January, and as such I think it is important to see the process up until that point. Both for myself and, hopefully, for you the reader. Some songs that were my favorites earlier have had time to sit, marinate, and fall or rise accordingly. These are the ideas that fascinate my mind! As usual, click the links to listen to the tracks. And with that, put the needle on the record!

Taking on 2010 - Albums

It has been a while, the grass has grown, now we are back to being processed. With the year drawing to an end I have found myself compiling lists on top of lists in an attempt to make sense of the past twelve months in all venues of culture. Well, the ones I I feel comfortable discussing. Now I should probably do a Top 20 Tracks first, but I am still working my way through the Pitchfork list to make sure I have filled in my blind spots. Albums I think I have a fairly comprehensive list, and I can certainly expand on last year's list. I have not gotten a chance to listen to a few records I would still like to check out, but 33 records are probably enough for now, right? Right. Let's get to counting down.

Taking On 2011 - Top Tracks (Q1)

Here at Processed Grass we have a strong attraction to all of the finer arts, so despite keeping a focus on film we still like to take the time to cover the other art forms that make up the abhorrent zeitgeist. With March drawing to a close rapidly it's time to start assessing the cultural output of the first quarter of the year. I have been on a quest to listen to more music from 2011, and I think that I have been successful in that so far, actually I'm averaging about a CD a week which is astounding given how paltry my year end list was in 2010; however, the more things change the more they tend to stay the same. In an attempt to expand my horizons the old ports have beckoned me back, in the long nights as the lighthouse rotates its the familiar lands I find myself drawn to, thriving upon. Drop the anchor, moor the boat, we'll be staying for a while.

10. EMA - "California"

Distortion can work wonders on tracks, Japandroids and Sleigh Bells have made it a staple of some of last year's best tunes, and while it may border on blasphemy to call distortion the possible followup to autotune, it seems like a sound device that can easily be similarly abused. Thankfully EMA, along with the disconnection she delivers the puncturing lyrics, appears to fall in line with the former artists. The stark desperation, the worn down tone, the burnt out youth. After the four minutes have finished there is no longer a song, only a mirror, another lens, and we all hold the gun.

9. Kanye West and Jay-Z - "H.A.M"

Excessive was a word that described Kanye West's masterwork My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, it also serves a descriptor of Jay-Z's Brett Favre~esque bouts with retirement. The first single from their upcoming duet album promises an album that is, as both artists do best, nothing short of brilliantly excessive. Kanye and Jay-Z build and build, keeping a flow but increasing in energy until the song reaches the only logical conclusion: a background opera encompassing the beat. No musical genre is safe. Kanye West is here.

8. Avril Lavigne - "What The Hell"

I like to imagine that in a mall, probably in the deep recesses of Canada, someone is still listening to "Sk8ter Boi" for the first time. Avril has always excelled as bringing the alternative voice to traditional pop, playing upon convention by layering on top a snarly challenge to the prescribed musical norms, existing as the bramble of music, technically capable of causing some harm, but ultimately housing some kind of sweetness amid the prickles. "What The Hell" carries on this tradition, seeing Avril capture the slightly off-kilter pop sound that made her debut tracks staples of my iTunes library.

7. Lykke Li - "Get Some"

During the last presidential election one of the key topics discussed was the way America outsourced its jobs and the fallout that has resulted because of the relocation of labor. Maybe it has to do with cheaper labor, perhaps companies are attempting to dodge taxes, or just maybe the product is better. If product of Europe Lykke Li is any indication it all begins to add up. Though "Get Some" is much louder than anything else from her stellar sophomore record, the song's charm is found in the seductive power play that Li makes, offsetting the phallocentric ideals and becoming the whore and the Madonna, the alpha and the omega, the power displaced.

6. Childish Gambino - "Freaks And Geeks"

The opening bars of the song strongly proclaim: "Gambino is a mastermind." In hip-hop you are asked to put on a front, the exude a confidence and swagger to make known that you are the hottest artist to ever pick up a microphone, and Donald Glover does a damn fine job of backing up that opening line, backing up the swag. The delivery on the track is rapid fire, barely taking the time to breath between bars, giving a 'blink and you'll miss it' feeling of emergency to the track. And if you blink you will miss quite a bit, because the wordplay from line to line is astounding. He engages the consciousness, weds it even, and the brain is left fornicated. he is running this bitch, we are just dog walkers.

5. James Blake - "I Never Learnt To Share"

I don't think this song is dubstep, but if it is dubstep then I have been missing out on an entirely different type of music that I need to dive in to at the earliest chance. What stands out most to me about this track, and the James Blake record as a whole, is that it does something that few other records have been able to do: it relies on sound progression and heavy instrumentals to sustain an entire album and he allows me to understand the progression. I know why sounds shift, how songs build, where the fluctuations are, and why they are. Part of this is because Blake uses his voice almost as an instrument, but his lyrics are varied and sharp enough to make me want to explore the songs. And what is music if not an exploratory process?

4. PJ Harvey - "The Words That Maketh Murder"

History is a concept that is not incredibly tangible, sometimes it is even best conveyed by collecting experiences and relaying emotions, or at least appealing to emotions. In this we see the timelessness of history. Ken Levine talked about making Bioshock Infinite and said that they looked to the past to see the future, to realize that world. It seems that is what PJ Harvey has done here, and we learn that we are trapped, but at least this awareness is brought to us with beauty.

3. Miranda Cosgrove feat. Rivers Cuomo - "High Maintenance"

I could rave about the was Miranda has matured with this EP, how the song captures a playfulness and energy that surpasses anything she has ever done up until this point. How the inclusion of Rivers adds a nice compliment to Cosgrove's voice and results in a nice back and forth between the two artists. But I just wrote about all this, so go read my review of Cosgrove's EP for the complete thoughts of how great that EP is, and why the titular track is so incredible.

2. the Mountain Goats - "Estate Sale Sign"

As the Mountain Goats delve further in to their third major 'sound' they blend the sombre tone that was found in the previous record with the shrills that mark some of John Darnielle's most iconic tracks. Like the best songs he has written and performed, "Estate Sale Sign" captures an intensity in the vocal fluctuations that Darnielle brings to the track, and to the CD as a whole. The verses culminate in a desperation, a howl of defiance that make the chorus as iconic as anything Darnielle has ever written. All Eternals Deck is the last record I listened to before compiling my lists, and while there are plenty of worthy songs to occupy this spot, my gut tells me this is the song that deserves the mention. It punched the hardest, and I'm still doubled over.

1. Tyler, the Creator - "Yonkers"

I have written before that I have the softest of spots for hip-hop, and Tyler, the Creator's latest track off his upcoming album Goblin captures all the elements that first attracted me to the music. The beats is not overly complex, and the flow is not rushed. It lets the lyrics exist, and it uses those lyrics to blatantly draw attention to society's taboos. But controversy on its own cannot sustain a song, let alone make it the year's best track. No, what Tyler has is, as member of his crew OFWGKTA say, swag. He's a rapper, but the song is artistic license at its finest. When listening to the track it's clear that an artist is hard at work, perfecting a craft, a subgenre that has been lost in the corporate shuffle to make the music a commodity. "Yonkers" represents a movement, a future (I am using all my restraint to not call it an Odd Future), and hip-hop is ready to rise once more. Oh yeah, and there's almost no chance there will be a better music video this year.

If ten songs were not enough I have the next ten listed below, all with links to youtube videos of the songs, just like the ones above, all you need to do is click the song titles.

Songs On The Bubble

11. Selena Gomez & the Scene - "Who Says"
12. Lady GaGa - "Born This Way"
13. Fleet Foxes - "Helplessness Blues"
14. Destroyer - "Savage Night At The Opera"
15. Frank Ocean - "Songs For Women"
16. Curren$y feat. Big K.R.I.T and Killa Kyleon - "Moon And The Stars"
17. Cut Copy - "Pharaohs and Pyramids"
18. Panda Bear - "Last Night At The Jetty"
19. Radiohead - "Lotus Flower"
20. Rebecca Black - "Friday"

Next Up: Best Albums Of The Year So Far

Rich

All I Want Is Everything, Does That Make Sense?

Miranda Cosgrove - High Maintenance (2011)

Last year Miranda Cosgrove, teenage starlet of Nickelodeon's wildly popular show iCarly, released her first full length album, Sparks Fly. The record was, essentially, a brief 8 track sample that blended an inconsistent mash-up of styles. Much like other teen actresses turned singer (Selena Gomez), Cosgrove's debut was more notable as an experiment that seemed to throw as many styles at the wall in hopes that something would stand out. To be completely honest the record reminded me of being at a hospital, watching over a loved one strapped to a life support machine; at times there are peaks, you might even convince yourself that there's some hope, but ultimately you know how things are going to end. Suddenly a flat line fills the air, all your fears have been realized. But sometimes miracles happen. In the distance you hear a faint beeping. High Maintenance is here.

I approach any record where the primary artist does not write the songs with a great hesitancy, and while Cosgrove is given a partial writing credit on one of the tracks the CD never feels as if it is some great passion project pulsating with creative intensity. On her debut album she worked with Ke$ha on a song, one of the more racy tracks of an otherwise tame record, but here she teams up with the likes of Avril Lavigne and Rivers Cuomo, the latter also happens to be featured on the titular track. Teaming with these titans, Cosgrove seems to be making a push for pop supremacy, and the energy she brings to the Lavigne penned "Dancing Crazy" is a Nevildine/Taylor jolt that sets the tone for the rest of the brief record. Cosgrove's sound has been, in one short year, so refined and defined. She may not completely exist as an artist on the CD, but as a conduit and interpreter she brings an up tempo charm and playfulness to each track that marks her territory as a legitimate name in pop music.

But Cosgrove exists as more than just a name, and this CD is more than a staked claim in an supersaturated genre. She has discovered more than just a sound, more than just a vocal presence and identity, what the CD ultimately yields is an aspect that so many of her contemporaries have actively sought: maturity. The record's standout track, "High Maintenance," has Cosgrove question: "So what if I break a few glasses/kick a few asses?" Ignoring the subpar rhyme, the line is simply glossed over. But for a girl who makes her fame selling product to the youth this moment of seeming insignificance is a leap. But by keeping this casual, along with the inclusion of tracks like the Shontelle covered "Kiss You Up," Cosgrove quietly matures, unlike the needlessly abrasive cries for maturity heard on the Miley Cyrus CD Can't Be Tamed. Cosgrove does not give off the sense that she is a dog chasing the tail of maturity, it feels natural, it feels refreshing. I have walked in the forests, bathed in the streams, my faith has been restored.

Faith, however, is easy to shake, ye heathens. While the five songs that make up the EP are tightly wound, wonderfully united, each one has an odd trend of simply ending. There's no major climax, they don't even fade away, the songs simply stop. For a record so refined and developed the quick conclusions are jarring. The first song is perhaps excusable, but I can only be shaken around so long before it becomes annoying. But I pick nits when my complaints starts to be about the last couple of seconds of what are otherwise well constructed tracks. The backing beats pulse, the tracks are slightly overproduced, Rivers Cuomo sings about a quasi-relationship with a girl who is nearly young enough to be his daughter: this is pop.

Miranda Cosgrove is not an elite artist like Demi Lovato. She is, in a few ways, closer to an experiment in the sames ways that Lady GaGa exists in an experimental space. But they all exist on my iPod. High Maintenance does not ask you to question your world, it will bring only about as much transcendence as an hour session speed reading William Wordsworth, but sometimes Wordsworth is all we need. The daffodils dance, they dance crazy, and they never stop.

But It Grieves My Heart, Love, To See You Tryin' To Be A Part Of A World That Just Don't Exist

Ramona and Beezus (Allen, 2010)

In our world technology moves at a break neck pace, you practically buy the latest gadget and the device has already been outclassed by the next technology on the horizon. I turn on the news and hear the horrors of the world, I see the Datelines, the rehabs, the violence, the predators, and the beaters. So amidst all these horrors is it possible to find solace in a film that acts as a pure artifice, in a world that technology and horror has seemingly left in the past, the America of yesteryear, an America that perhaps has always been idealized but has never purely existed? Standing on the outskirts of these horrors is Ramona and Beezus, a little light of hope, a town where trouble exists, but is veiled by the wonder. I have little knowledge of the source material which has spawned the latest G Rated family film, yet even without this affinity I found it near impossible not to be captivated by this film's charm.

Detailing the journey of titular protagonist Ramona Quimby as she struggles to come to terms with her existence on Klickitat Street. While she confronts standard conflicts such as fitting in at school and dealing with a home life where she also stands out from her seemingly perfect sister, the film adds a compelling layer by having Ramona cope with the loss of loved ones, feelings of isolation, and the conflict of a completely changing home environment. And in this layer is a beautiful sincerity and respect for the audience, regardless of age, that is not afraid to explore the darker side of childhood and stray from the beautiful hand made day-dream sequences for incredibly effective dramatic segments.

These aspects create such a wonderful tone throughout much of the film, and the central performance from Joey King goes a long way in selling these scenes, but it helps that she is surrounding by a surprisingly talented cast. The actors who play the adults in the film all do believable jobs of handling their lines, and as the film continued on I found myself taken by the turn that John Corbett makes as the father; however, the stand out of the adults has to be the repentant egotist Hobart, played by Josh Duhamell. And then, of course, there is the most recognizable face in the film, Selena Gomez portraying the eldest girl in the core family, Beatrice "Beezus" Quimby. Selena possesses such a glowing and infection charm that it seems near impossible not to be taken by her acting, but despite her character being mostly irrelevant considering she is a titular character Selena's big scenes show an impressive range that she has demonstrated before, but not in such a concentrated capacity. One scene has Beezus walking home with her childhood friend Henry, and Selena turns in such an impressive performance in this specific scene that she appears to be set for much future success. King gives the better performance overall, though a good amount of that has to do with the character's role in the film and Selena's wise choice to play Beezus as human rather than an over the top vehicle to showcase her range.

But underlining all of the performances, the conflict, and even the wonder is the portrayal of an idealized America. What struck me while watching the film was the relative absence of technology, especially in relation to one incredibly contemporary problem that plays a large part in the story. This absence creates such a tension in the film by juxtaposing timeless aspects of the narrative and world with the contemporary concerns. And the more I consider the film I also notice an incredible absence of ethnicity, so much so that the only trace of African Americans came in the background in the final scene, and Sandra Oh, but even her role is minimal. Selena is even asked to pass as white. These aspects, perhaps even more than the ideas the film concerns itself with, offer a fascinating look at the Hollywood presentation of the ideal America, one that proves as uncomfortable as appealing. The simplicity of life, the wholesome concerns, and the importance of human bonding is all appealing and beautiful, but much like the wonder and charm in the films plot, a disturbing and dark side lurks underneath the surface.

Still, Ramona and Beezus does offer a celebration of nostalgia that, at the very least, constantly entertains and, at its best, proves to be enlightening. An America that has passed displayed in a genre of film that has apparently been all but forgotten in the wake of CGI extravaganzas and 3-D opuses. The film can likely be faulted for less than stellar comedy, but the film never seems incredibly concerned with generating laughs, just chuckles, the chief concern is the characters and the plot, letting these aspect develop naturally, and in that regard it succeeds. Ramona and Beezus is not a great film, perhaps it may even be mediocre, but is does offer a cinematic gust of fresh air that has only sat better and better with me since leaving the theater.

Comments are encouraged and, for anyone with a literary mind, I encourage checking out my poetry blog filled with all original works for your reading pleasure.

Also I am on the old Twitter thing so I guess you can follow me at twitter.com/FLYmeatwad.

Top 2(2) CDs of 2009, A List in Pieces

It has certainly been a while since I have written about music, actually it has been a while since I have written much at all, so I am making a return to this writing show by doing a series of year end wrap up lists. Now you may be thinking that 2009 has already ended and these efforts are all irrelevant. You may also be thinking that such an endeavor is far too generic for this blog. Well, my year does not end until around March, so I'm technically ahead of the game by a few months. I also am going to attempt to avoid Top 5's, 10's, 15, and so on in favor of more obscure numbers. With that, let's get to the CDs.

One more disclaimer though, the top of the list is so tough, any one of my Top 4 can easily be my number 1, it's just an arbitrary order I picked, the records are all mostly fantastic.

20. Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures

I generally am a fan of these so called super groups, collectives of proven musicians all shunning their previous band mates and hoping that coming together will result in an amount of awesomeness that is both capable of destroying all other types of lesser music and probably ending world hunger, or aborting children, I'm not really sure. Either way, ASIA this is not, but I suppose that is not all bad, despite the involvement of the detestable Dave Grohl. Much like Grohl's other works, Them Crooked Vultures contains a ton of self indulgent mindless noise that is loud for the sake of being loud and, of course, thoroughly lacking much joy, but when the guys decide to focus on the music, shortening the length of songs and zoning in on provided concentrated loudness paired with simplistic lyrics, the record succeeds tremendously. At the very worst, there is nary a rock record that works better while driving, as long as you're driving with reckless abandon.

19. Jonas Brothers - Lines, Vines and Trying Times

Initially I had intended to conclude my list with this record, you know, really shock people when they opened up this countdown, but either way this record will serve as a barometer for the list yet to come, and what has already occurred/missed out on a spot. Jonas Brothers have never been my favorite band, sure "Burnin' Up" is fantastic but outside of that and a few other songs I have been mostly cold on spending any elongated time with the band. While this record did not convince me to reevaluate my previous feelings, this record was nothing short of an incredibly welcome surprise. While sitting down and resting on the sales success of records past was certainly an option, the record cast aside most prior convention and turned out to be a celebration of sound and style as the three sought to expand their musical capacity while making a slightly more mature record. From the heavy opening "World War III" to the hip-hop infused, sporting a guest appearance from talented artist Common, "Don't Charge Me For The Crime," Lines, Vines and Trying Times is a hopeful sign for the band's future records. The band does not sacrifice the heartthrob lyrics about love and life that have made them marketable in the past, but they do shed the traits that many detractors focused on in the past.

18. Bob Dylan - Together Through Life

Thirty two studio albums ago who would have guessed that Dylan would still be cranking out albums at an astounding pace and with such insane quality? Not I, because I probably wasn't even a sperm at that point in time. Either way, this album does prove that Dylan has lost little over the years, still beautifully written and delivered. Produced beautifully and a mystifying listen, this may not be on par with some of Dylan's best records, but when you have such a diverse and excellent catalog such a title is not nearly as important.

17. Miley Cyrus - The Time of Our Lives

In a year where nearly every Disney heavyweight released a full length CD the most successful starlet to date, Miley Cyrus, went against the tide and teased the world with an EP, collecting seven songs that boasted the wildly popular "Party in the USA." That song is more than enough to solidify a spot on this list, but top to bottom the whole CD is a fun ride that demonstrates Miley's ability to hop in and out of different musical styles from track to track, an impressive ability and one of her greatest strengths as a performer. I am still holding out for a proper follow up to Breakout, and less material under the less interesting Hannah Montana alias, this CD is enough to hold me over and another step in Miley's artistic development.

16. Annie - Don't Stop

The picture box tells me that music from Norway is all metal all the time. By extension, Norway must suck. But then along comes Annie to flip my perspectives all around. A pop parade that is a quick and joyful ride through wonderfully simplistic lyrics and catchy choruses which mask enough depth to make numerous listens not just enjoyable, but rewarding. From the in your face intro that is "Hey Annie" to the stunning conclusion that is "Heaven and Hell," this Annie record is not an experience, nor is it a mind changing listen, but it's refreshing, fun, and enjoyable. What more could you ask for from a record?

15. Various Artists - Hannah Montana: The Movie OST

Now I know I said I am not really a fan of Miley's work as Hannah Montana and I stick by that claim, but this CD isn't just Miley, and it's not just Miley being Hannah, and "The Climb" is way awesome. Plus there are some other great songs from Rascal Flatts and stuff, but obviously the standout tracks do come from Miley. Essentially what we have going on here is Purple Rain except the music is good, mostly, and the film is better, considerably. There are noticeable weak points on the record, but oh boy are those highs high. Plus it has "Hoedown Throwdown," what more could any CD ever need?

14. Various Artists - Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse Present Dark Night of the Soul

Another compilation album, right? Well mostly, I suppose, but when you put Danger Mouse mostly in charge of anything you know that the instrumental work is going to be top notch, and with the likes of Iggy Pop and company the record feels like a thrill ride of incredible proportions. The stand out track, "Angel's Harp," comes from former Pixies lead singer Black Francis, but there is nary a weak point on the album. I have not had a chance to check out the David Lynch visuals, especially after the marketing debacle that happened, but experiments like these, and obviously the mixture of so many different types of rock, are ventures I can fully endorse.

13. DOOM - Born Like This

Now I could spend this time talking about how it has been far too long for one of hip hop's most deceptively complex artists to release a new record, or I could go on about how DOOM's ability to change persona on command and from album to album is the marking that he has a better understanding of the genre than just about anyone else to ever hold a microphone, but I shall not. Instead I shall celebrate the magnificent "Gazillion Ear" track and the wonderfully tone setting "Cellz," beginning with a portion of the incredibly diabolical and moving poem "Dinosuaria, We," an artistic choice that hardly feels anything but natural. Much like every CD from DOOM it rewards repeat listenings and, unlike some of his weaker efforts, does not ever indulge in the beats; instead, the focus is right where it belongs, on DOOM's stunning lyrical prowess.

12. Various Artists - Have Yourself A Meaty Little Christmas

There are Christmas albums, there are comedy albums, and then there is this [adultswim] joyride. Hysterical from start to finish, with two standout tracks from Carl Bratananaluski about getting drunk, masturbating, and being unemployed before and after Christmas, a guest appearance from Neko Case, a great duet with Meatwad and Boxy Brown, and so much other comedic gold. Unlike other holiday music you just need to be ready to laugh when listening to this CD, it doesn't need to be Christmas. Which is genius, and is fantastic, and hopefully happens on a yearly basis because this CD is incredible.

11. Cage - Depart From Me

Cage is an incredibly interesting artist and with Depart From Me he continues to make strides from album to album. With Movies for the Blind he started getting used to his style, taking the most deranged rhymes and images a mind can create and stringing them together wonderfully. Then on Hell's Winter he built on that and started integrating the Head Automatica help on tracks. Then Depart From me happened and Cage essentially begins to craft a rap/rock hybrid that is artistically pleasing, mentally stimulating, and satirical enough without sacrificing the personal touches and disturbing marks that make Cage songs his own. A stunning record that needs to be listened to beginning to end in a single sitting for one Hell of an effect.

10. The Flaming Lips - Embryonic

It has been quite a few years since The Flaming Lips released Clouds Taste Metallic, one of the best CDs ever recorded. Of course The Flaming Lips are nota band that remains stagnant and the sounds on Embryonic are nothing like what one would encounter on Clouds. Though that is hardly a bad thing as the over distorted, hyper produced sounds blends with the lyrics to create a surreal experience. Add in guest spots by Karen O, including on the CD's standout "I Can Be A Frog," a childhood story told with hints of sexuality and a demonic vigor. It's hypnotic and it's stunning, like the CD as a whole.

9. Felt - Felt 3: A Tribute to Rosie Perez

An impressive trinity of hip hop's most interesting artists, the pairing of Slug and Murs feels almost natural, producing a lengthy record full of fun songs and some darker ones like "Ghost Dance Deluxe." What had me worried going in was having Aesop Rock, an incredibly talented songwriter and producer, handling the beats because, while Aesop does great work, his beats always seem so well crafted for his style that I was questioning Slug and Murs's ability to conform to Aesop's style without sacrificing their lyrical prowess. The results work much better than I could have ever anticipated. Is the CD a fitting substitute for a new Aesop CD or a new Atmosphere CD? No, but it's still a mighty fine package.

8. the Mountain Goats - The Life of the World to Come/The Life of the World in Flux

For about a year and a half now, I know that's not very long but give me a chance, the Mountain Goats have opened my eyes to the most beautiful music ever created. If I could write half as masterfully as John Darnielle I would probably kill myself because I would be so awesome incredible impressive. Either way, the latest from the band is a meditation on religion, an exposure of the faults and a celebration of the power. A brilliantly low keyed follow up to the insanely great four song Satanic Messiah EP. The partner CD, featuring scrapped tracks and outtakes is just as enjoyable. Darnielle makes poems come to life, a modern day Dylan, if Dylan wasn't still going strong. Religious or not this CD is incredible and revealing, it's what the Goats do best.

7. Japandroids - Post-Nothing

I'll keep things simplistic with the debut album from this duo. There is a certain majesty to the distorted instruments, the free vocals, the throw backs to power rock, the frantic nature of a few of the tracks, and the devastating beauty of "Young Hearts Spark Fire." Sure the record can evoke emotions, but it's the do-it-yourself nature of the record and how it all comes together to make something unique and magical that makes this record special. The downfall of lists is that this CD can't be my number one after proving for most of the year that it is nearly perfect.

6. Chamillionaire - Mixtape Messiah 7

This 4 disc behemoth is not nearly the artistic accomplishment that MF Grimm's American Hunger is, but as the final nail int he coffin that was Chamillionaire's glorious Mixtape Messiah series it is, with the exception of a non-existent final "Roll Call" track, as fine as a record could come. Cham proves, without question, that he is the most lyrically skilled rapper to ever grace a microphone, seamlessly sliding from beat to beat and making them his own on each and every track. Your mileage with the record will vary depending on how much you care for Screwed and Chopped music, but the brilliance on display here is astounding. Baller rap is not an apt title, Chamillionaire transcended that territory years ago. With Major Pain and Venom on the horizon, Chamillionaire's output remains impressive and the Mixtape Messiah Series has a fitting conclusion. Plus the CD was released for free on his website, which is even more incredible.

5. Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You

This CD almost escaped me in the shuffle, but apparently Lily Allen has been around for a while. Apparently she makes great music, as is proven by this record. The CD is devastating, it is funny, it is lovely. Lily assaults societal convention, consumerism, and various other topics over the course of the CD's run time, and all with a prowess and quite beauty that only serves to enhance the themes she hits on from track to track. "The Fear," for me, is one of the best songs ever written, but the entire CD does not have a blemish on it at all, from the opening bang to the closing "He Wasn't There," Lily Allen takes the listener on a ride to incredible places, whether you like what you find there or not. I am a weapon of massive consumption, but it's not my fault that's how I'm programmed to function.

4. Weezer - Raditude

I'll get this out of the way now, Raditude is, by a wide margin, Weezer's best CD since The Blue Album, and it may very well be even better than the band's masterwork. Rivers is at his finest here, taking the concept of "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" and stretching it to an entire CD that makes use of Weezer's classic power pop rock, riffs on the club song trend in modern music with the delightful "Can't Stop Partying," and basically remains in full on sarcastic brilliance throughout the entire run with only a single lull in "Love is the Answer." I honestly cannot believe that this is not my top CD of 2009 because it is spectacular on each level. Rivers revels in the psyche of of an adolescent male, weaving in his ability to address deep themes with haunting lyrics, yet he improves on that and limits himself to simplistic rhymes and metaphors that are still more beautiful and impressive than even the best of writers. It captures the boy I once was and, as Rivers is more than willing to expose, in many ways still am. The CD is a power ride of unparalleled proportions and hopefully Weezer stays on this path for a long while to come.

3. Demi Lovato - Here We Go Again

Another CD I cannot believe is not at the top of this list. Easily my most listened to CD of 2009 Demi Lovato grows so much on her sophomore CD. Don't Forget is great, but from the opening bars of "Here We Go Again" to the sadly out of place "So Far, SO Great," Demi plays with the quietloudquiet dynamic that she first displayed in her debut CD, a technique perfected obviously by Pixies years before, but it takes center stage here as Demi separates from Pixies comparisons and shows a maturity that, if it wasn't for the Disney shackles, would likely make for one of the best CDs ever recorded. "Every Time You Lie," "Everything You're Not," and "Quiet," the last being a great encapsulation of Demi's style especially on her more rock heavy songs, are thrilling rides that not only pair excellent sound with great lyrics, but also show a development in her own unique style. And of course there are the more traditional pop stand outs like "Here We Go Again" and the wonderful "Remember December," but even these songs, like most of the tracks, have an underlying angst and maturity that I am sure will only grow as Demi is allowed to bring more and more of her own personality to her records. I cannot say enough good things about Demi, she is poised to own a genre of music with talent, grace, and maturity for years to come, existing not as a pop star, but as a rock musician and I cannot wait to continue the ride. I'm anxiously awaiting her next CD.

2. Lady GaGa - The Fame Monster

And now for the two CDs that completely blindsided me last year, one earlier in the year (that's coming up), and one in just the past couple of weeks. My aversion to the radio made sure that I had no exposure to Lady GaGa prior to my still unfinished (only 19 left, I should finish that) quest to listen to each song on Pitchfork's Top 100 Songs of 2009 list. And God Damn was I missing out. Sure the Deluxe Edition includes The Fame, a pretty great CD but one that is a bit top heavy, but The Fame Monster is an 8 song joyride that grabs hold at the very start with the incredible "Bad Romance" and does not let go until the rough "Teeth" at the very end. Mix in the entrancingly dark "Monster" about halfway through and the more upbeat "So Happy I Could Die" and "Telephone" throughout and you have an incredibly compact masterpiece. There is not one bad song on this CD, it is so well paced, so varied, and so enjoyable that I was, as I mentioned earlier, completely struck with how much I enjoyed this record. I don't know much about Lady GaGa's professional image, which is apparently all part of this artistic statement, but it doesn't matter, the CD is amazing. Perfect.

1. St. Vincent - Actor

So what could possibly beat out a perfect CD? Another perfect CD, obviously. St. Vincent has apparently done a few records before as well, but since I live under a rock I was completely unprepared for what Actor would deliver. With razor sharp talons Actor packs a scathing sarcasm that sits beautifully alongside the quiet voice that accompanies the dark and striking imagery on each track. With nary a low point to be found the high water mark arguably comes with the title track, but Holy Hell are "Marrow," "The Bed," "Black Rainbow," and "Laughing With A Mouth Of Blood" chillingly gorgeous. From the moment I heard this CD until I finish writing this list, St. Vincent has proven over the course of 2009 to have a tremendous lasting power and poetic beauty that has me eager to check out her back catalog. What a fucking brilliant piece of art.

And now for the two records that make this list a 21. I would provide some more exposition, but I'll do that as I list them.

Selena Gomez and The Scene - Kiss & Tell

I am upset that I was unable to put this on the list, but I am even more disheartened at what happened to Selena. Now I don't know her, I don't know what her artistic vision was, and I don't know how happy she is with the record. I do know that, for the most part, the CD is a thematic mess with flashes of brilliance. "Naturally" is a great single and a great pop song. "As A Blonde" and "Stop and Erase" are each fun pop-rock songs with a bit of commentary to each. There are other high points. But the record just lacks a uniform tone and it really feels like Disney is just throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks. I mean the album art is reminiscent of the Demi CD, some of the songs are reminiscent of Demi, others of Miley, and very few sound like uniquely Selena. I wanted to love this CD, and Selena proves that she certainly does have singing talent, I still prefer her vastly as an actress, but that's neither here nor there, she shows she can sing and sustain an entire album. I just hope they allow her more freedom with her next record and that she does have a single tone and definitive identity because I'm really sad that such a tragedy happened to her with this album. Do note though, there are a ton of positives buried in the uneven record, it just needs to be more focused.

Neko Case - Middle Cyclone

There is no excuse here other than I haven't listened to it yet. Been sitting in my iTunes forever, but I got it the same day as the GaGa CD to end the year and I have been listening to Lady GaGa too much to give this one the chance it deserves. Case was great in The New Pornographers, she's great on Have Yourself a Meaty Little Christmas, and I'm sure the CD is great. Just haven't gotten a chance to listen to it yet. Sorry Neko.

Comments are welcome and, for anyone with a literary mind, I encourage checking out my poetry blog filled with all original works for your reading pleasure.

Also I am on the old Twitter thing so I guess you can follow me at twitter.com/FLYmeatwad.